Beard tools, decided

What this section covers

Two purchases and one skill. The purchases are a trimmer and something to put in the beard afterwards. The skill is knowing which guard number to use and in what order, and it takes about three attempts to learn.

The trimmer market is deliberately confusing. Every manufacturer competes on the number of attachments in the box, because a box with twenty-three pieces looks better on a shelf than a box with three. Almost none of that matters. What matters is four published figures: how long it runs, how long it takes to charge, what range of lengths it cuts, and whether you can rinse it under a tap.

The four numbers that decide it

• Runtime. The spread is enormous and nobody talks about it. The Wahl here publishes 180 minutes; the Braun XT5 publishes 45. At a three-minute trim twice a week, that is the difference between charging four times a year and charging monthly.
• Quick charge. More useful than total runtime in practice. A one-minute charge that buys three minutes of trimming means a flat battery is never a reason to skip it.
• Cutting range. Published as a minimum and a maximum in millimeters. If you keep stubble, the minimum is what you care about and the difference between 0.2 mm and 0.5 mm is visible. If you keep a full beard, the maximum decides whether you can trim it at all.
• Washable. Beard hair and skin oil clog a blade. A trimmer you can rinse gets rinsed; a trimmer you have to brush out does not.

Every trimmer in the main roundup is scored on those and on whether the maker publishes them at all. Braun publishes a six-month blade sharpness figure, which is unusual and creditable. Philips publishes runtime prominently and a full length-setting list nowhere.

The refill trap, again

Every trimmer here uses a proprietary cutting head. There is no commodity standard for trimmer blades the way there is for double-edge razor blades, so whoever made your trimmer sets the price of keeping it running forever. This is why the refill-economics axis marks all of them down together: it is not a criticism of any one product, it is the shape of the whole category, and it is worth knowing before you buy rather than after.

The practical consequence is that a trimmer with a published blade life is worth more than one without, because you can at least plan the cost. The OneBlade is the clearest example in either direction: Philips publishes a four-month blade life and puts a wear indicator on the blade itself, which is honest, and also tells you exactly what you are signing up for.

Guard numbers, briefly

A guard number is a length in millimeters or a position on a dial, and manufacturers use both conventions without saying which. A #2 guard on one brand is not a #2 on another. What is consistent is the relationship: the number is how much hair is left standing, so a lower number cuts shorter. The guards guide has the full mapping and the one rule that saves most bad haircuts — start two numbers longer than you think you want, and work down.

Where this section goes next

Beard is one of four filled sections on this site. It links across to electric shaving — because the decision between a trimmer and a shaver is a real one that most people make badly — and to skin, because the skin under a beard is skin nobody washes properly and it is the source of most of what people blame on the beard itself.